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Most of us have had a time in our life, professionally, romantically or physically where we thought “Nothing here seems to be working. I want to quit…” We started that great project but now progress is slow, passion evaporates, and everywhere we look the signs seem to be saying “give up.” Do we quit? How do we get up enough desire to keep going? The writer summarizes the top line points to finding inspiration, even when the world is telling you to give up.
The first point is, reconnecting with “why.”
Often called “THE why” or “YOUR why”, it’s really just a way to identify your purpose and get more out of life. The “why”, is why we do what we do, or, why we want to do, what we want to do…
I reflected on this question a bit and I will share with you what I came up with. Years ago, my daughter’s school sponsored an event. It was an awesome opportunity for the kids and parents to physically serve some members of the community. While there, I met a beautiful young lady. She was 16 years old, her mom had two jobs and she was responsible for her five younger siblings (including a set of autistic twins). While this situation would’ve completely overwhelmed many adults, this girl was not bitter, frazzled or jaded. She was extremely alert but with our kids around to entertain her siblings, she began to loosen up and actually enjoy herself. She confessed to being a huge Mi Vida Loca fan and wanted to know all about my experiences as an actress. I shared my stories about, auditions, combating stage fright and traveling around the world. At the end of the evening, she approached me and said “thank you for spending so much time with me,” then she asked, “would be okay for me to dream of doing something like that?”
I was stunned. No one had ever asked me for permission to dream. Until that moment, it had never occurred to me that anyone needed permission to dream. I’ve since discovered that many of us wander the planet looking, waiting, wanting permission not only to dream but to live. Permission based living. This seems to be at the core of my why. I’m a woman who grew up in an odd household and who’s made some odd choices in life. On my journey, I so desperately wanted to be “normal” that I made changes that began to suffocate me. I’m just not ever going to be that iconic 50’s woman I imagined was supposed to be in order to feel “normal.”
When I let my twisted idea of the ’50’s mom’ go, without judgment or blame, I gave myself permission to take all that I learned from my quest to be her and apply it to who I actually am. My nauseating optimism, my love of cooking, my bedtime story routines with my kids, don’t clash with my desire to embrace my sexuality, travel, write, speak or dance, they enhance it. I gave myself permission to be dynamic, bold and perfectly imperfect. I gave myself permission to turn I forgive you into THANK YOU; to turn I couldn’t into ‘why not?’ and to turn belief into POSSIBILITY.
I am humbled and amazed by the loyalty of Mi Vida Loca fans. The fact that the movie is 20 years old and still so popular is, in my opinion, a testimony to how many people can be touched and inspired when a brave few are willing to be true to their WHY. My “why” is about sharing my experience, strength and hope with others. It’s about finding the good of what is and teaching people to give themselves permission to live in it.